notes

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===== 
The three pure precepts =====


**First, I vow to cease from evil.**

*This is the abiding place of laws and rules of all Buddhas.*

Will you maintain this?


**Second, I vow to do good.**

*This is the Dharma of sammyak-sam-bohdi; this is the way of all beings.*

Will you maintain this?

**Third, I vow to do good for others.**

*This is to transcend the profane and to be beyond the holy; this is to liberate oneself and others.*

Will you maintain this? 



## The ten grave precepts

**First, I vow to refrain from killing.**

*Life is non-killing. The seed of Buddha grows continuously. Maintain the wisdom-life of Buddha and do not kill life.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Second, I vow to refrain from stealing.** 

*The mind and the externals are just as thus. The gate of liberation has opened.*

Will you maintain this? 



**Third, I vow to refrain from sexual misconduct and being greedy.** 

*The three wheels (body, mouth, mind; greed, anger, ignorance) are pure and clean. Nothing is desired for: go the same way as the buddhas.* 

Will you maintain this? 

**Fourth, I vow to refrain from telling lies.** 

*The Dharma wheel unceasingly turns and there is neither excess nor lack. Sweet dew permeates; gain the essence and gain the truth.*

Will you maintain this? 



**Fifth, I vow to refrain from being intoxicated and ignorant.**

*It has never been:  don't be defiled. It is indeed the great clarity.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Sixth, I vow to refrain from talking about others errors and faults.**

*In the midst of the Buddha-Dharma, we are the same Dharma, the same realisation, and the same practice. Do not (let them) talk about others errors and faults. Do not destroy the way.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Seventh, I vow to refrain from elevating myself and blaming others.** 

*Buddhas and ancestors realised the absolute emptiness and realised the great earth. When the great body is manifested, there is neither outside or inside. When the Dharma body is manifested, there is not even a square inch of soil on the ground (earth).*

Will you maintain this? 

**Eighth, I vow to refrain from being stingy, especially with the Dharma.** 

*One phrase, one verse, ten thousand forms, one hundred grasses, one Dharma, one realisation, all Buddhas, all ancestors. Since the beginning there has never been being stingy.*

Will you maintain this?

**Ninth, I vow to refrain from indulging in anger and hatred.**

*It is not regress, it is not advance, it is not real, it is not unreal. There is illumined cloud-ocean, there is ornamented cloud-ocean.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Tenth, I vow to refrain from speaking ill of the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.**

*Expounding the Dharmas with the body is the refuge of the world. Its virtue returns to the world of omniscience. Whole heartedly revere and serve it.*

Will you maintain this?







Koan Practice

***1) A monk once asked Joshu “has a dog buddha nature?”*** 

***Joshua answered “Mu!”*** 

***2) How do you stop the sound of a temple bell?***

Be the temple bell 🔔 - make the sound “GONGGGG.”

3) How do you stop four different sounds?

Make four different sounds.

4) How do you stop a sailing boat? 

Mime being the wind.

5) How do you stop a rowing boat?

6) Show me an unmovable tree in a heavy wind !

Mime a tree bending and swaying in the wind, roots firm.

7) Hide yourself in a pillar !

Stand up tall 

8) That girl over there, is she the elder or younger sister?

I thought about a younger colleague, being promoted above me. But it's about not knowing.

9) Without using your hands, make this old man get up.

Imagine I am the old man. Be the old man. Get up.

10) Stop the fighting across the river. 

I thought it was about knowing when not to get involved and appreciating the space between myself and someone else's anger. But actually it's about getting stuck in. Mime wading into the water and throwing punches.

11) Save a hungry ghost.

Realise I am a hungry ghost. Mime feeding myself like I can't stop. Too much food that won't fit down my neck. 

***12) When the world was created, what was god (the creator) like.*** 

Imagine I am God the creator and I just made all this. Be God the creator. Look around. Just be. 

***13) Create a mountain.***

People can take different pictures of me and carry them around but I'm not those pictures. Im not the negative images or the ideal images of me. I'm just this, in the middle, right here. 

Rushing to get dressed in Leos room I'm putting on some sheeney black wide, straight legged Sergio Techatini trackies, a thin tight marl grey 80s top and a navy zip up cardi with chord front that gives it some structure and wool effect arms. Looking down, I hear a voice a bloke, yorkshire accent ‘are you trying to dress gay in that?’ - I feel these ideas of myself separating slightly from my skin, Neil the lad or Neil the weedy gay boy, the sorted woke arty man from my 30's and 40's, or as a liberated queer inspired by all the amazing young people around me now. But what’s real are the sensations of my body as I stand and move. I can sense these different ideas of myself left, right, in front, to the side, but I’m right here in the middle. The naked sensations between my spine and my skin. If I move with them, dress with them, speak with these sensations, without planning, I don’t need to wear any of these ideas.

***14) Create a piece of land.***

Lie down. Roshi mimes walking over my back. 

This had a deeper affect on me the more I sat with it. At its most powerful, I experienced my own ‘just this-ness’ which opened a felt sensation of being of the same stuff as everything else.


===== Precepts with notes =====


## The three pure precepts

**First, I vow to cease from evil.**

*This is the abiding place of laws and rules of all Buddhas.*

Will you maintain this?

Society is oppressive in so many ways. How can I move without unintentionally adding to the many invisible and visible waves of oppression? Maybe the key word here is ‘cease’? What if instead of trying to find a way to move without contributing to injustice, I could move less? Trying to freeze or not act dosent feel right either. Evil implies ill intent - so maybe the answer to this is love - not acting as much from anger. While making my Raksu I experienced memories of love from my grandad that broke me right open. I also learned I can exude anger without realising it when I feel I'm being mistreated or neglected. So - consciously, I can try remind myself I can be a bit of an arsehole at times and try to see and accept that. The main thing I can do is sit more as that seems to help me open myself up to those feelings of love, and act from that.

Second, I vow to do good.

*This is the Dharma of sammyak-sam-bohdi; this is the way of all beings.*

Will you maintain this?

**Third, I vow to do good for others.**

*This is to transcend the profane and to be beyond the holy; this is to liberate oneself and others.*

Will you maintain this? 

This is so beautiful - liberating myself by focusing on doing good for others. I am at an early stage with this. I still fear ignoring my own needs could lead to me being taken advantage of and becoming angry. Hang on, I'm being very binary here. Doing good for others dosent exclude doing good for myself. Doing good for others as an act of sheer willpower, coralling myself to do it dosent feel like the way either. I want to get to a point when it dosent feel like an act of willpower.

## The ten grave precepts

**First, I vow to refrain from killing.**

*Life is non-killing. The seed of Buddha grows continuously. Maintain the wisdom-life of Buddha and do not kill life.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Second, I vow to refrain from stealing.** 

*The mind and the externals are just as thus. The gate of liberation has opened.*

Will you maintain this? 

I felt a lot of resistance to this at first. Deep down I agree with Proudhon when he said, all property is theft. So if I read this literally I feel very wary. Dogens commentary is so beautiful though. I feel like he's showing me two dishes on the table, one with my mind on it and the other with the world, then asking why mix them? It's so tempting though.

My ideas about the world and how it should be are theft.  When I have rigid ideas about how people should talk to me and treat me, I'm stealing from them. Im seeing my self, as a theft from the dharma.

**Notes 9th Oct 2024**

I was thinking about Roshi talking about 'letting go' on the mat and Dogen’s commentary on the second of the ten grave precepts.

*I vow to refrain from stealing.*

Dogens commentary..

*The mind and the externals are just as thus. The gate of liberation has opened.*

I've been sitting on what it might be that I'm clinging on to and what I might be trying to steal. One big thing came up is I'm clinging on to being a "successful artist". Being a successful artist would mean I get to make all the art I want to make how I want to make it, and I'll become the person I want to be.
It's been my north star since I was 18. It's like I made a deal with life that I would try to be who everyone wants me to be in every other situation, if I could express myself however I wanted when I'm making art. Then I'd steer my life towards making as much time as possible for making art. I've been stealing from my appreciation of the present to give to time for creative freedom in some imagined future.
I'm realising this partition has meant I've been less present to my day to day life, it's felt less real than my art practice. Now it's dawning on me that my artistic practice is a part of my whole life, not the other way around. 

What if I let go of that bargain and didn't fence off making art as the only time and space in which I do what feels natural? 

I realised how much Ive been seeing my life through the expectation that I am on the path to becoming a "successful artist", and banging up against things when these expectations arent met. It's not so much that I have a vision of a future me, so I expect everything to go that way. More that I have to make sure everything is going in that direction at all times, so there's tensions between what Im looking for and what's actually happening.

But just now, I dropped into my body and saw these expectations  as dried skin falling off the world. Letting these tensions drop even for a few moments, I felt so much freer to look and move around!

I'm asking myself..What if I don't "make it"? What if I let go of the idea that one day I'll be a successful artist?

I'm not saying I'll stop making art, far from it. Communicating through images feels so much more natural to me than words. I'm just not sure how much I need what I push it into the institutions that validate art.

I'm just beginning to loosen the grip that this vision of my future self has on me in the here and now. I feel like I can open my life so its not just about trying to steal time.

What is the Buddhist way to experience this without pushing away painful feelings for the loss of my more successful future self? 

How do I open myself to everything that my drive to be a successful artist has been trying to escape from?

**Third, I vow to refrain from sexual misconduct and being greedy.** 

*The three wheels (body, mouth, mind; greed, anger, ignorance) are pure and clean. Nothing is desired for: go the same way as the buddhas.* 

Will you maintain this? 

**Fourth, I vow to refrain from telling lies.** 

*The Dharma wheel unceasingly turns and there is neither excess nor lack. Sweet dew permeates; gain the essence and gain the truth.*

Will you maintain this? 

From the 1st line of Dogen’s commentary, I get - I don't need to exaggerate so others see what I want them to see, how I want the world to be. 

From the second line, - the Dharma, (the truth), permeates everything evenly like a mist. It's not a thing to be focused on. 

Its not often I outright lie, but I project my frustrations with myself onto other people, trying to misdirect attention away from my shame.

When I dampen down my feelings and inhibit my impulses, hiding my sensitivity - I'm not being honest with myself or other people. Sitting shows me the things that are caught in the folds of my robes, in my guts, between spline and lymph nodes.

**Fifth, I vow to refrain from being intoxicated and ignorant.**

*It has never been:  don't be defiled. It is indeed the great clarity.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Sixth, I vow to refrain from talking about others errors and faults.**

*In the midst of the Buddha-Dharma, we are the same Dharma, the same realisation, and the same practice. Do not (let them) talk about others errors and faults. Do not destroy the way.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Seventh, I vow to refrain from elevating myself and blaming others.** 

*Buddhas and ancestors realised the absolute emptiness and realised the great earth. When the great body is manifested, there is neither outside or inside. When the Dharma body is manifested, there is not even a square inch of soil on the ground (earth).*

Will you maintain this? 

**Eighth, I vow to refrain from being stingy, especially with the Dharma.** 

*One phrase, one verse, ten thousand forms, one hundred grasses, one Dharma, one realisation, all Buddhas, all ancestors. Since the beginning there has never been being stingy.*

Will you maintain this?

**Ninth, I vow to refrain from indulging in anger and hatred.**

*It is not regress, it is not advance, it is not real, it is not unreal. There is illumined cloud-ocean, there is ornamented cloud-ocean.*

Will you maintain this? 

**Tenth, I vow to refrain from speaking ill of the Buddha, Dharma and Sangha.**

*Expounding the Dharmas with the body is the refuge of the world. Its virtue returns to the world of omniscience. Whole heartedly revere and serve it.*

Will you maintain this?