I think I might have some kind of synaesthesia of social and emotional dynamics. I know most people connect through words, facial expressions and body language, but when I'm with people, I sense invisible forms, distortions in the field, pushing in and out of the boundaries between us. This leaves me feeling connected, but also, like I just missed what was happening.

Went to go see Beth Gibbons last night, so so beautiful. Emotional without cloying, spritual and coming from someplace deep inside, below.

I felt something stir inside me, the urge to express all the sad difficult feelings inside though movement, sound and images moving between us. Find the beauty, musicality and dance in these unconscious, unspoken intentional forms in the field.

This is in my minds eye, I don't just see it and it isn't the same experience for the same objects, so it probably wont be medically diagnosed as synaesthesia. My experience seems more evoked by forms and materials than things.

Roshi said joking, the world isn't really that interested in our thoughts and plans, it dosent really give a shit. It's better to try and dance with it. Looking over to the cot we now use to store Laelias millions of cuddly toys, I can imagine the sound it's emanating. It's not that I hear it, it's that I can imagine that sound smost instantly, like I'm listening gor the sound that it uniquely is making now. Come to think of it, when I make a cup of tea, I have a very powerful sense of what colour and shape cup I feel like. The same with cutlery. I want to make sounds for all the things in the room, the sounds they're emanating.

Forms and materials in space evoke in me particular feelings, sounds and a sense of form and movement in the negative space.

We're all emitting music continuously, all our parts, creating music together. I want to look and listen more to the tones, texture and dynamics emanating from peoples foreheads, palms, denim jacket sleeves as they talk to me. To appreciate the musicality of conversation and body language in social dynamics, even in situations that I feel tense or uncomfortable in.

I think I'm supposed to explore ways for groups of people to communicate between different parts of themselves by animating parts of bodies, material surfaces and augmented media in the experiential field.

Create artworks that show dynamic forms morphing between people as they talk and interact. (Not repeating the same crystallised behaviours forever, regardless of what is going on).

Transfer things that emerge from facial expressions, conversation, clothes, gestures, furniture, household objects and architecture, present, absent and imagined in other spaces, onto forms in the space like blobs, trees, plants, ants, fish, birds, clusters, constellations and musical rythmns.